iman.mutiara.

…when you take a step back, take a long hard look at your life and realised that Allah had been looking after you all along?

Growing up, I had this thing. 

Without my parent’s guidance, I knew who I should and shouldn’t be friends with. I didn’t know why I was like that. I was simply that way. 

For example, when I came back from Australia at the age of 11, I was overwhelmed by girly girls wanting me to join their ‘pretty girls club’ where the sole function of this group is to lepak at void decks, look pretty and get boyfriends. 

They were fun and all. They even taught me how to steal. Some of them tried to teach me what a ‘blowjob’ was but they spoke in Malay and I didn’t understand the terms they were using. I remember just nodding along, laughed when they laughed and looked angry when they seemed angry.

It hit me that they were talking about blowjobs only after I completed A levels. Even then, I was unsure what it really entails but I was reeling from the fact that I had such a close call at becoming a slut at the age of 11. I was told I was intelligent at that age so knowing this, I’d probably made a business out of it.

I hung out with them only for about 3 months or so. I grew bored of their lepak at void decks antics and grew tired of their endless gossips. These are two behaviours that I completely shun to this very day.

And I know where these girls are now.

One is a mother of three (that’s the last number I heard anyway) and is a drug pusher. Her mother is taking care of all her kids now.

Another ran away with a Malaysian lorry driver in her teens. Her mother had came crying to me, asking me if I’d seen her. 

The other three..well, let’s just say alhamdulillah I didn’t follow in their footsteps. 

I remember thinking I wanted to be popular but I somehow couldn’t bring myself to continue being with those girls. I just wanted to be a good girl and make my parents proud of me. I still do. 

It is all His work that made me feel that way. His grace and wisdom astounds me.

SubhanAllahi wa bihamdihi.

Glory to Allah and praise Him.